}

January 20, 2017

Moving Forward

Seed catalogs provide hope during these dark days of winter.

Hope arrives no matter what the weather, politics or even life tells us. As some of you have noticed, I've been neglecting this blog for a few weeks. The now reason can be shared.

We lost Joe's nephew Curtis to a heroin overdose here in our house where he had been living for the past year. These events are a bit like auto accidents,  suppose surreal would be cliche yet accurate way to describe the experience, yet 'numbing' and hopeless seems to sum it up better. Losses like this while not exactly a surprise, are never openly expected, as hope always seems to be just within reach, and one never wants to imagine anything else.

In this case, Curt was on his third day home from rehab, perhaps at his most vulnerable time, he was expressing such hopefullness and even chatted with me that morning about how he was so grateful that we were helping him and how he never wanted to go through this again, and how he couldn't wait to get the shot that would make this all a bit easier.


I've learned so much about those suffering form addiction over this past year since Curt moved in with us, and although he had been sober for over a year at the time when he moved in, we both knew that the risk was always high that he could relapse, which happened three times between the Holiday season and last week. Curt leaves three young children (one toddler) and so many who loved him, Not to mention that at a young 36 years old, the entire future. Frankly? It just all sucks.

I've started about seven posts which are all drafts, they range from my special projects to what I am ordering this year, eventually I will complete them. Sometimes, life just gets in the way. Please bear with me as we heal and reconstruct our lives over the next week, as we rejoin with family and try to get things back to a relative normal. 

21 comments :

  1. I'm so very sorry to hear this, and my heart goes to you and your family. I enjoyed seeing and hearing snippets about him (Pith + Vigor photoshoot comes to mind). Please take your time to heal. We'll be here when you're ready.

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  2. So very very sorry. How terrible for you all. Thank you and to Joe and family for your candor and sharing. In both good and bad ways sadly, you are not alone. It's awful. So sorry again. Thoughts and best wishes to all of you.

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  3. My heart goes out to you both. . . we went through the same with our son, Aaron. It will be 4 years in February. Breaks my heart every time I hear of another person losing the battle, especially when they have children. . .

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    1. Thank you Cynthia, and I am so sorry to hear about Aaron's struggle. This is such a difficult think to confront, and one feels so helpless. Appreciate you and everyones thoughts.

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  4. I shed a tear reading this. Small compensation I know but my thoughts and 'prayers' are with you.

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  5. Oh, how absolutely horrible. Thinking of you both. Plants can be a solace in times of trouble.

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  6. So very sorry to hear this. Addiction is an awful plague no matter the ingredient, and heroin especially awful. One can only hope that someday there will be an answer.

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  7. I am so sorry, that is just so horrible. May he rest in peace.

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  8. Dear Matt,
    I am so sorry to hear about Joe's nephew, Curt. It is wonderful that you both tried to help him. He must have known how much he was loved. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  10. my deepest condolences to the both of you.

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  11. Life just seems too hard, sometimes. I'm so sorry.

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    1. Well, you know - life can be good and generous, too. We've been fortunate to have a good balance, which has been mostly on the nice side of life.

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  12. john in cranston3:57 PM

    We are all old enough now to be intimate with tragedy and grief. And all we learn is that it never gets easier.
    Hold tight to the good times, and to the love that surrounds you.

    peace

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    1. Well said, John.

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    2. Dearest Matt & Joe,

      My heart goes out to you both during this very hard time. I hope you both find peace in knowing that Curtis is no longer in pain and his spirit is finally free.

      Condolences and Hugs,
      Fred Biasella

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    3. Thank you so much, Fred.

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    4. Thank you John, that is well said (something we all hate to say, but so true).

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  13. Matt,

    I am so sorry for your family's heartbreaking loss of Curt. Grief is the price we pay for the love our hearts have known. As heart-shattering as loss is, grace somehow holds our many broken pieces together.

    A quote found me last year as I struggled with loss. It's from Anne Lamott:

    "I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us."

    Stay focused on what you love and take good care of yourself.

    Brooks

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  14. Dear Matt and Joe,
    I am so sorry for your loss. What a heartbreaking ending to such a young life. So incredibly sad.
    May your happy memories of him help to heal you and your family. Take care, Kat

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